Hi beauties. Hey, this is Robin Nielsen and this is Hormone Breakthrough Wednesday. Woo. So excited to be here with you today.
So today, I want to talk a little bit about fear because fear is a lot of times what keeps us from reaching our health goals and living the life we want and the life we so desire. And if our health isn’t where we want it to be, we are not living the life that we want for ourselves. I’m speaking to one of my clients this morning and you know, she was saying that she was able to get through the month and still live her life. That’s a really big deal for her because she’s someone who suffers from incredible migraines. We’ve been able to get her to a place now where she actually has no migraines anymore. She has sort of the hint of a migraine coming on, maybe one to two days out of the month now instead of four a week, used to wipe her out and now she can still live her life. It’s so much better. It’s almost completely healed and it was a brave journey for her because everything that she did affected her brain and her migraines, and so she was afraid to try anything. It’s so interesting that she’s coming to mind right now because I had not anticipated talking about her, but she’s an incredible example of how she’s been able to overcome her fear at this incredible, intense pain to take the next steps on her healing journey.
When I started working with her, I don’t know, four months ago or so, it was, it was a little rough getting started, but she had started embracing more and more of the path that she needs to be on and she’s just seen incredible changes. She can actually live her life and so, of course, if our health is not in the right place, then it’s really hard for us to live the life that we want. Even live our lives. It’s really hard.
I was talking to a gal yesterday, absolutely adorable woman, and same thing, you know, if she’s not working, she wants to go to bed. She turns down so many social events, every social event, because she just doesn’t feel like she can show up for it. She can’t get dressed for it, she doesn’t want to be present for people. She doesn’t have the energy, she doesn’t have the, you know, inner stamina to do it. And so her life has really, really shifted. And you know, sometimes we don’t know how far down we are because it’s such a gradual process of, you know, going from feeling well to feeling really horrible. And so until we start to heal, we don’t really know how bad off we’ve gotten. So I just want to, you know, put that out there so that when you begin to heal, life starts to happen.
I want to do everything I can to help you get those fears out of the way so you can step into what’s next for yourself. So I made a post in our beautiful Facebook group here and you may have seen it, you may have been one of the ones who responded that says, “What is your biggest fear around getting healthy and feeling well?” What was interesting is that it, I didn’t get the answers that I was quite looking for and if you were someone who responded, I would love for you to sit with this just for a moment. If you were not one of the ones who responded, I still want you to sit with this for a moment and think about, “What is your health crisis doing for you? How is your health crisis serving you?”
It was really interesting for me. I can be a little bit vulnerable here and share that my husband and I’ve even married for 36 years and we had a lot of years of rough patches. So there was kind of a string of years that we had that we were not very connected. It was really interesting because we worked with these incredible relationship coaches. They asked me what I got out of it. They said, “well, what did you get out of that disconnected time?” Cause my husband was doing his thing, I was doing my thing. We were like two ships passing in the night. We were not connected. And they said, “what did you get out of it?” And I’m like, what do you mean, like our relationships sucked!
You know, it was like, we either fix this or we part ways. I thought, well gosh, I never thought I was getting anything out of it. He just wasn’t showing up for our relationship. What the heck? Right? I wasn’t taking responsibility for my part in that. And then I got to thinking, why was I holding on to that relationship that sucked. Like why wasn’t I expecting more out of our relationship? And I thought about it for a little bit. I’m like, Oh my gosh, they’re really putting me on the spot here. And I came up with, you know, I had my freedom. I was not accountable to anyone for the first time in my life. My kids had left home.
This is really becoming vulnerable for me. I didn’t imagine sharing this either. Oh my gosh.
My kids had left home. I was, you know, in my nutrition healing business, I loved it. I was making a difference for women worldwide, right? I was doing my thing, I wasn’t accountable to anyone. And I said freedom. I had my freedom. I didn’t have to make dinner, I didn’t have to, you know, do the laundry, you know, fold clothes, get kids off to school, make lunches. I mean, for the first time in my life I was free, right? I was independent except for I still was married and I, you know, I still had that going on, but he was doing his thing. So I thought, okay, I can do my thing. And when I got out of it is I got freedom. So I exchanged my freedom for a really terrible relationship with my spouse, the person who I love the most, my best friend, and we’d probably been married about 25 years at that point. I was just done serving others, I think. I think I really needed a chance to restore myself, find my own grounds since my kids had left. It was just a real transition period. And of course, I never thought I would go through that. Never in my wildest dreams, “Oh, we’re never going to have problems.” Right? Never gonna have problems. Oh my gosh. What my fear was, my fear of for having a healthy relationship was my loss of freedom. It was my loss of freedom. So that’s what I want you to figure out for yourself right now. What are these health challenges giving you? They must be giving you something because you’re still stuck in these health challenges. And there’s no judgment here. It’s just where you are, right? So if you still have some incredible health challenges, what are you getting out of it?
What are you getting out of it? And I’d love for you to post right here. Like if this is the completely safe space. So for a lot of us, it’s protection, right? We don’t have to show up. It’s protection. It’s protecting, we’re being protected or we’re getting a lot of attention. So sometimes we’re not well, it brings us a lot of attention and we’re attention starved for sure. It is a way to get attention. Right? And so maybe your biggest fear of getting well is that you won’t get enough attention. That could be your biggest fear.